Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
