"it" just moved
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
