the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
