so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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