its not stalking. its research.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize