I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
