Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
