how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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