So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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