no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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