College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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