ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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