Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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