My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just googled if crying burns calories
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
