i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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