they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
