Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
