'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We need a shit load of segways right now
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
