Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize
