i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize