hotel room ftw
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
