there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have so many feelings about this burrito
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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