i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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