The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
