You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
did i walk over a car last night?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
