9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
