I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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