Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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