Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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