great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
