That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
