omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
