Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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