oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
bring money and cleavage
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize