So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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