I think i peed on brittanys purse
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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