either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
