WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
