Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
