Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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