Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
