It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Ladies don't puke and tell
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
