you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
