i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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