We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
