I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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