I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
porn star boner night. come get it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
