just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
