haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize