A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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