My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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