omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
