areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
