If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
not ubering you a puppy
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
