i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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