Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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